Sometimes, when I feel like there is something missing in the picture, I pull back from commitments and engage more carefully in my life. It has been over a month since I posted and I have spent that time focusing my efforts on my approach to parenting and what was changing in our family.
Our three musketeers are all moving from toddler reasoning to the more complex reasoning of 4 and 5 year olds. This season requires more understanding and it was taking me a moment to figure out what was happening in my kids.
For example: two months ago I found Gabe pouring out water onto his bedroom carpet just to watch it pour. A couple weeks ago I saw him pouring out his cup of water onto the counter. I started in on lecturing him only to later find out that he was cleaning up my mess on the counter from that morning’s biscuits. He watched. He learned. He wanted to do something nice. He got yelled at for it.
To say it has taken me great effort to adjust to this transformation is an understatement. Each new phase the three of them walk through together. Each new phase is new parenting territory. Thus my absence. A woman has to get her bearings you know. It’s been time well spent. I’ll spend the next couple weeks catching you up on what you have missed during this family transition.
Want to know what my biggest lesson is to date? My kids are young and immature. They are children therefore they have childish motives, behaviors and reactions all day long. I have discovered myself getting sucked in too.
When I was mad I would stomp around the house. Slam doors. Raise my voice when angry or didn’t see instant obedience (my way). Discipline out of anger. All of which is childlike behavior.
I realized I was a major reason for the chaos in our home. My kids will be childish because they are children. They need the stability of an adult to bring peace and reason to their volatile emotions. They need examples of how to handle disappointment and frustration. Anger and sadness.
“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” – 1 Corinthians 13:11 ESV
Adults never push me this far. But when it comes to being a mom, I realized my responses to the stress in our home were childish. It was time to stop being a child. From that point on, I decided I would change my ways. I would be the adult. In Christ, I would dig in my heels and find the strength to be the peace in the storm. I am convinced I am not the only one who struggles with this. So I will continue to be transparent, believing that through my story God will bring about His transformation in others too.
Pray for them
Father, I pray that even now (Name) is “preparing [(his/her) mind] for action, and being sober-minded, [sets his/her] hope fully on the grace that will be brought to [him/her] at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” As an obedient child, I pray (Name) will not be “conformed to the passions of [his/her] former ignorance, but as [you] who called [us] is holy,” I pray (Name) will so “also be holy in all [his/her] conduct.” In the name of Jesus I pray, amen. – 1 Peter 1:13-15
Roast Them Both
Cooking for my growing family can sometimes be a challenge. My friend however shared an easy tip on how to reduce the time and effort put into it. She said, when you plan to make a chicken, roast two!
I frequently make a whole chicken. We eat it for dinner then I boil the rest and make soup or bone broth from it. It goes so many meals. She recommended I do two at the same time and it really is so much easier.
Same amount of effort. Same amount of time. Twice the results. And for a family our size, it lasts us almost a week instead of a day or two. And I am all about spending as much time as I can outside in the beautiful Spring weather rather than inside cooking laborious meals!